The Waiting Game

Tick...Tock...Tick...Tock
Another second has just gone by
Tick...Tock...Tick...Tock
Another minute....another hour
Tick...Tock...Tick...Tock
The more I wait
The dumber I feel
The angrier I get
The more numb I become
When you need me
I lie, cheat & deceive
To be at your beckon call
When I need you
I wait and wait and wait and wait
Tick...Tock...Tick...Tock
Tired of playing...
The Waiting Game

                              The Autumn Sun

                                                           

An Untitled Love Story

This is a story about two people who "accidentally" fell in love. Neither one was looking for it but somehow it found them:

She closes her eyes and sees his face.

He closes his eyes and sees her face.

She never thought that she would fall in love again.

He loved her like no other woman he had loved before.

Everything about him was perfect for her...his smile, his sense of humor, his intelligence, his caring nature, his thoughtfulness, his culinary skills, his love of music

Everything about her was perfect for him...her smile, her sense of humor, her intelligence, her creativity, her height, her love of sports.

She couldn't believe that he had taken the time to break down her wall in order to get to know her.

He knew the real her was hidden behind that wall...he was determined to break through and find her.

She had been hurt before yet she exposed herself to him...her soul, her spirit, her thoughts, her fears, her hopes, her dreams

He had been hurt before yet he handed her his fragile heart...trusting and believing she will guard it with her life

Missing him is her hobby

Caring for her is his job

Making him happy is her duty

And loving her is his life

One day, she hoped to be his Mrs.

One day, he will make her his Mrs.

The Three Amigos

Dear Amigos:

I’m sitting here thinking about the two of you

I appreciate and love you both

*reflecting*

Everyone should be blessed with amigos like you

Brutally honest yet loving amigos

Peace keeper yet warrior amigos

Patient listener yet wise counselor amigos

Strong shoulder to cry on yet softhearted to cry along with amigos

*reflecting*

Are we each other’s keeper?

Without a doubt

Secret keepers

Got each other’s back keepers

In each other’s corner whether right or wrong keepers

You hurt them, you gotta deal with me keepers

*smiling*

Yeah…everyone should be blessed with amigos like you

I love you, amigos

  

 

-         The Third Amigo

A Simple Little Rhyme

As I've stated in the past, love is one of my inspirations. With Valentines Day approaching, my poetic persona, The Autumn Sun, got creative. Enjoy...

A Simple Little Rhyme 

 I woke up this morning with you on my mind

Then I closed my eyes and try to rewind time

Back to last night when we were together

We escaped to “our world” where no one else mattered

We laughed, we kissed, we held each other tight

We giggled, we talked, we mmmmm…yeah, that was nice

Then a smile appeared on my face…There’s no need to rewind time

Because you love me, I love you and you are all mine

What we share is tailored made just for us

We refuse to let others in because they’ll raise such a fuss

They’ll ridicule and criticize and try their best to taint

Something so beautiful, a love so pure that even the strong will faint

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again

You’ve made me a believer in love…in happily ever afters…You are a rare gem

I got mad love for you, baby…can’t you see

I got mad love for you, baby…I know I can make you happy

Yes, me…the one standing right before your very eyes

Don’t look to the left…she’s filling your head with lies

Don’t look to the right…she’ll only raise her glass for her own toast

Don’t look back…that witch was the one who hurt you the most

Look at what’s in front of you

Everything you desire is all right here

You can trust my love…you don’t have to fear

I woke up this morning with you on my mind

A song in my heart and this simple little rhyme

- The Autumn Sun

3:45am Lullaby

It’s been a minute since I’ve written anything about my adventures with autism. Heck, it’s been a minute since I’ve written about anything lol. But here we go and I have Corey to thank for this blog. :-D

We call Corey the “special kid.” Not because he has autism. We call him that because he’s special – a particular individual; extraordinary; exceptional.

One of the downsides of Corey having autism is, occasionally he wakes up early in the morning – 1am early; 2am early; 3am early – you get the point. Only one of two things happen during that time, either Corey is laughing hysterically or he's crying uncontrollably. Last night, or rather this morning, he was crying uncontrollably.

From 2:23am until 3:47am, Corey cried his little eyes out. How am I so sure about the time? It’s a quirk of mine. When Corey has an “episode,” I always check the time in the beginning, during and at the end.  One of my nicknames is Monk (inside joke).

Anyway, Corey is crying and of course I start the process of trying to calm him down. Gently applying pressure to his arms and legs, tight hugs and speaking softly to him. I even went against my own rule and offered him food and drink. None of it worked. But I wasn’t giving up yet. I still had one more trick. Music!

   Since I wanted him to go back to sleep, I knew putting in a music dvd would not work. It would only excite him. So I had to do the next best thing. At exactly 3:26am I was in concert. I sung every Veggie Tales song, Yo Gabba Gabba song, Wiggles song,  Fresh Beat Band song, preschool song I could think of. THEY DID NOT WORK! On a whim, I started the gospel edition of the concert. At 3:45am, I began singing, “This is the Day" (written by Nikki K. Ervin).  By 3:47am, my special kid was finally asleep! Whew! I lay him down and climb back into bed myself. I get all comfy, close my eyes, exhale deeply and wait for sleep’s return.

Waiting…….waiting.......waiting.......waiting…….waiting.

You have got to be kidding me!

 Can you say wide awake?

I Vow To...

A new year is upon us and with it the excitement of new things, new beginnings, new opportunities, new goals, new dreams and new resolutions. Ahhh, resolutions...a course of action determined or decided on.  They start out with good intentions but often times are forgotten and forsaken by the end of January. 

This year I did away with resolutions. Instead, I’m taking a page from one of St. Louis’s finest singing sensation, Theresa Payne (checkout her blog page: xsosblog.com). This year I’m making a vow…a solemn promise, pledge, or personal commitment. 

I vow to…

• Love myself, my family and close friends like Linus loves his blanket

• Bring even MORE awareness to autism (yall goin’ get tired of me – lol)

• Not to diet or lose weight but to develop a healthier me

• Laugh more and bring laughter to others

• Continue to look for only the good in EVERY situation (translated means: remain positive)

• Pursue my dreams and goals like a mad woman

• Write something…anything…every day

• Continue doing what I do best…Being Me

These vows are only a few and they are not just for the year but for a lifetime. If you noticed, I did not list anything spiritual (i.e. read my bible more, closer walk with God, fast and pray more, etc).  God and I already discussed our relationship and His requirements of me. All I can say is: Where much is known, much is required…smh.

Of course I couldn’t just leave well enough alone. Because I’m a visual person, I designed a pretty little postcard with my vows listed. I placed it on my laptop and I also sent it to my phone.

Like Theresa, I want to challenge you to make your own vows. Be sure to include things that will not only enrich you but will enrich others too.  Once you’re finished, raise you right hand and repeat after me:

I, ____________________, do solemnly vow, promise, pledge and personally commit my lifetime to these vows. I, ______________________, do solemnly vow, promise, pledge and personally commit not to limit myself to only the vows listed but to add more for as long as I live - to enrich not only my life but the lives of others.

USS Potty Training

Captain’s Log...Stardate 1227.13

Destination: Toilet training aka potty training aka using the bathroom aka I’m not buying no mo’ pull-ups (sorry Huggies)

As most of you know, my twins have Autism. Corey’s is more severe than CJ’s but that’s a blog for another day.  Last week, as I was changing Corey, I realized that I was holding him hostage from his total independence.  He knows how to get his clothes ready. He knows how to put them on and take them off. He knows how to wash his face and he’s still working on the brushing the teeth thing. He knows how to put his coat on and he has almost mastered zipping it up. He knows how to work the TV and the DVR remote. Hell, he even knows how to get whatever food item he wants, put it on a plate and warm it up in the microwave. But he does not know how to go to the bathroom. And I can’t blame Autism for it. I blame myself.

In the past, I made it known that I wanted Corey to be able to live independently. I instructed his teachers and therapists to push him to the limits. I even pushed him at home. But when it came to potty training, I always used Corey being nonverbal as my excuse for not even attempting to train him (plus it didn't help that he was still able to wear 4T-5T in pull-ups). But now he is no longer nonverbal. He says one to three word sentences and he can read.  Besides being lazy, I have no more excuses. 

I spoke with Corey’s teachers and they said that they would begin the process at school. And I vowed that over Christmas break I would pledge my devotion to training him as well. Here’s an update:

Week 1

MONDAY – Corey had diarrhea REAL bad and I was NOT going to clean up the mess that would have been created in them drawers!

TUESDAY- Christmas Eve! Another diarrhea day and another day I was NOT going to clean up that mess! Plus I wasn’t feeling good either.

WEDNESDAY - Christmas Day! No diarrhea! YAY!  But with us visiting family, I knew I wouldn’t be consistent. LOL!

THURSDAY - Day after Christmas…too tired plus I had an outing planned with some of my girlfriends.

FRIDAY - Today was the day! As soon as he woke up, I took him to the bathroom. He didn’t want to sit so he stood. Two minutes later he proceeded to pee all over me and the toilet seat because he refused to hold or allow me to hold his equipment. After cleaning the bathroom and myself, I was ready to say, “Forget it.” But that wouldn’t be fair to him.

So far we have missed EVERY opportunity but it’s all good. We’ll just continue to clean up, put on another pair of underwear and in the words of Walt Disney: "Keep Moving Forward!"