Don't Believe Me? Just Watch!

As I was sitting here looking over the 3-5 year plan for Corey’s Sound Foundation for Autism, I got really excited. The vision for the foundation is HUGE! We’re talking adult daycare, summer camp, therapy sessions, family support group, parent support group, sibling support group, programs for autism siblings and the list goes on. 

I’m grinning at this vision like a Cheshire cat. Then fear begins to infiltrate my thoughts and strike up a conversation: “What makes you think you can do something like this? Something on this magnitude?  It’s way too big! You can’t even raise the funds needed to become a 501C3! And who’s to say that if by chance you do get the 501C3 status that there will be grant money or any money out there for you? What will make your foundation standout amongst the rest? What will make families want to trust this unknown, inexperienced organization? Think about it, you don’t have any support. You’re the only one passionate about this.  Let this dream go and allow those organizations that are already established and doing quite well handle this.”

*sigh* I will not lie. I thought about what fear said, especially the part about not being able to raise the money needed to become a 501C3. I also thought about those who I asked to help and those who offered to help but they didn’t come through. I even thought about those already established organizations and how they have a pretty significant presence in the autism world. My Cheshire grin began to disappear.

Then who comes bouncing into the room laughing hysterically? My Corey Man!  And all the reasons why the foundation was started to begin with tackled me like a 350lb defensive back.  I’m looking at this vision plan, grinning once again like a Cheshire cat. And my response to fear and doubt is, “I CAN and I WILL do this thing here because Christ not only strengthens me but He also got my back! Don't believe me? Just watch!” 

Now I’m eagerly preparing for our next fundraiser, looking for office space and  humming the chorus of a song from Mary Mary: “I just can’t give up now! I’ve come to far from where I started from. Nobody told me that the road would be easy and I don’t believe He brought me this far to leave me!”   

About Last Night

Phone rings
Change in plans
Go back home
I'll pick you up
Open car door
Smooth ride
Pull up to location
House, 3 bedroom, 2 baths
Instructed to wait
Escorted to patio
Candles
Music
Single white rose
Clear night
Chilled wine
Steaks on grill
Good conversation
Laughter
Slow dance
Smell soooo good
More conversation
More laughter
Almost 4 am
Gotta go
Don't want to leave
Ride home seemed short
Way too short
Standing at the door
Can I see you again
Yes
Breakfast at 10
Lunch at 1
Fair enough
Go inside
Lean against door
Smiling
About last night

The Autumn Sun

*heavy sigh*

Today is blog Friday and I have absolutely nothing to write about. *heavy sigh* With the week I had, you would think that I would have plenty to say…this week has been nothing short of eventful.

I could write about my frustration with formatting my first ebook. How the format requirements for an ebook are totally different from that of a book going to print. How I followed the guidelines outlined by Smashwords and I still receive an error message. How I wanted to spew profanity at my laptop and throw it against the wall. How I may have to seek professional help soon before my nerves get too bad. *heavy sigh*

I could write about how I’m struggling with a situation that happened a week ago but to this day it still has me hurt and confused. How a “friend” showed me just how much they regarded me and our friendship. How the situation has caused me to view that person differently. And how the situation has caused me to begin the emotional detachment process. *heavy sigh*

 I could write about how my seven year-old son asked, “Mommy, if girls don’t have a penis, how do they pee?” How I sooo wasn’t ready for that! How I’m sooo not ready for any of this! How I’m sooo not ready for my baby boy to grow up! How I want and need my baby to stay my baby. Let’s face it, I’m not having anymore children so I want to prolong this one growing up for as long as possible. *heavy sigh*

Today is blog Friday and I have absolutely nothing to write about. *heavy sigh* 

Hello! My Name Is...

In the next few weeks, I will release my first book, Center Stage. It’s a collection of skits that I have written over the years and I am super excited! To create a buzz, I posted the book cover on social media. Within seconds I received a slew of “Congratulations!” and “I can’t wait!”  

Then I received this inbox message:

I saw your book cover. I know it’s none of my business but why aren’t you writing under your married name?  Don’t you think that it’s kind of disrespectful to your husband to not use his name? The name you took. The two of you are one and you should reflect it. Using your maiden name isn’t displaying a positive image about marriage to our young girls nor is it showing unity between you and your husband. I hope you think about what I’ve said and reconsider your chose of name.  

Well, I did think about it and I realize that they are right…it’s none of their business. But afford me this opportunity to shed some light about my name.

My biggest supporters have always been my parents. Everything I have ever done, been a part of or wanted to do, my mother and father were always there to cheer me on. When my father died unexpectedly, I told my husband that I wanted to use my maiden name when it came to my work…it’s my way of paying homage to my dad. My husband understood.

I know the person who inboxed me will read this blog, so this paragraph is for you and this is strictly my opinion.  A woman deciding NOT to use her husband’s name is not being disrespectful to him nor is she showing disrespect to the marriage. It does not show discord in the marriage or between the two. And it does not display a negative image about marriage. If it is something that’s agreed upon between the two people who are in covenant with one another, that’s all that matters. Your opinion is just that...your opinion. It does not make it right. You do you and allow the rest of us to do us. 

Now, with that being said, I would like to formally introduce myself:

Hello! My name is Kelley D. Wilson

I Can Only Imagine

My Precious Little One,

As I sit here on this cold, rainy autumn morning with my favorite mug filled with hot chocolate, overflowing with marshmallows and chocolate chips, listening to Shelter by John Legend…I’m flooded with thoughts of you.

Your impending arrival was set for May but yesterday I was made aware that you were not coming. Although you were not planned, when I learned of you I fell in love instantly. Only a select few knew about you. They keep asking me if I’m ok. My reply was and still is, “I’m good.” I know they’re expecting me to hysterically break down or to slip into a depressive state but I flipped flopped between those emotions on Sunday, when your home going began and on Monday, when I knew it had come to an end.

Now you’re gone and I will not get the opportunity to watch my belly grow as you grow. Nor will I get the opportunity to grin from ear to ear at the sound of your heartbeat or after every ultrasound, movement and kick. I will not get the opportunity to go throughout Babies R Us, Burlington or Target, armed with a scanner, pretending to be a secret agent as I shoot or rather scan items for the baby registry.

While some are preparing for their bundles of joy and others proudly display their recently new additions on the stage of Facebook and Instagram…I can only imagine.

I can only imagine… you, a healthy baby boy, with your father’s eyes and smile and my stunning good looks. *wink*

I can only imagine… your personality: funny but also shy…easy going but also stubborn…mild tempered but also hot headed…ambitious but also reluctant…passionate but also indifferent….a lady charmer but also a momma’s boy.

I can only imagine…your siblings whining about you getting away with murder simply because you’re the baby of the family.

I can only imagine…me trying to live out my dream of being a football mom through you…knowing good and well that music would be your passion (it had to be…it made up your DNA).

I can only imagine…me having a front row seat as you take the lessons you have learned, cross the stage from boyhood into adulthood and make that pilgrimage as a man, a husband and a father.

I could go on and on shaping and molding your life in the vast creativity of my imagination but I think I’m going to close with this last one:

I can only imagine… you looking up at me as I’m looking down at you and asking you this question: “Who loves ya, Baby?” *in my Kojak voice* J

Written in love. Signed with a tear. Sealed with a kiss.

Stuck in My Head Like a Melody

Stuck in My Head Like a Melody

You started out as a here and there thought

Now you’re stuck in my head like a melody

Like a broken record I keep replaying that day

Yeah…that day

That day you made love not to my body

But to my mind

My soul

To me

My feelings for you started out in minor

But it continues to climb to major 

You started out as a here and there thought

Now you’re stuck in my head like a melody

The Autumn Sun

You Know You're a Mom When...

I am a mom to four beautiful children and I absolutely love it! 

I love the good: celebrating their success, pigging out on ice cream, sing-along's in the car, being entertained with impromptu shows, the look of accomplishment in their eyes, watching them learn and grow, bedtime cuddling and embarrassing them every chance I get. 

I don't love the bad: correcting them when they're wrong, disciplining them when needed, not budging when it comes to punishments.

And I definitely don't love the ugly...all I'm going to say on that is, I was once 20.

Nevertheless, I love being a mom so when I ran across this on the internet I laughed because this is me.  Especially numbers 1, 2, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12 (depends lol), 16, 17 (YES), 18, 19 (guilty) and 20...definintely 20 lol!

You know you are a mom when...

1. Instead of running from projectile vomit, you run towards it.

2. You do more in seven minutes than most people do all day.

3. Happy hour has become the 60 minutes between your kids going to bed and you going to bed.

4. A night of drinking requires more recovery time than minor surgery.

5. A glass of wine counts as a serving of fruit.

6. You have mini-therapy sessions all day long with anyone who will listen.

7. Going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation.

8. You can experience heaven and hell at the same time.

9. You think of physical pain on three levels: pain, excruciating pain and stepping on a Lego.

10. You have the ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors in the middle of the night, two bedrooms away.

11. You'd rather have a 103 degree fever than watch one of your kids suffer with it.

12. You'd rather go to sleep than have sex.

13. A 15-minute shower with the door locked feels like a day at the spa.

14. Peeing with an audience is part of the daily routine.

15. You use baby wipes to clean up random spills and the dash of your car.

16. You lock yourself in the bathroom and pretend to have diarrhea just to get a break.

17. You have a secret chocolate stash because frankly, you're sick of sharing.

18. You've been washing the same load of laundry for three days because you forgot to dry it.

19. You realize you've been watching Nick Jr. alone, even though your kids have been in bed for over 30 minutes.

20. You can cook dinner, talk on the phone and yell at the kids, all without breaking stride or missing any of the TV show you are watching.